hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
