Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
