Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
