Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
