I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
