Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
