let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
