Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
