Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
