Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish you could order shots online.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
