Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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