i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
