i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
