I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
