very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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