I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
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Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH