we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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