I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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