Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
