hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I'm really busy with my period
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