Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
