So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
