forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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