If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
