forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
