you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
