Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
