I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
