my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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