He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
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I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
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Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize