They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
