well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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