im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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