You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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