In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Randomize
