She said her name was "party"
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Girls should come with a carfax report
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
