This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
