My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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