I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up under a house in Key West
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
