I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
