where am i from again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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