so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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