She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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