i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
