he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you will always have a special place in my vag
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
