i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
