Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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