I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
