sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
