I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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