yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
