You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
