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I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
