Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
