Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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