At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
