My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize