I like my sex mixed with concussions.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
last night I used snow as a chaser
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
