dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
