didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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