I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
