wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
