So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
