Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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