He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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