Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
