Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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