Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
